You might not know it but home does not feel like home anymore. Waking up feels like a crime, and I dread the break of dawn. I am forever reminded that I am unemployed.

Simple things like watching television make me feel guilty. I feel like I am to blame even when mealie meal gets used up. I feel bad for not being able to help.

When I live my CV with you, I am hoping to finally repay with gratitude those who sacrificed their time and money to see me through to this age.

When I give you my CV, I am hoping to finally belong with others. To wake up and go the same direction with them and to return proudly in the evening, like them.

I once gave my uncle one of my CVs, I found it among his trash when I visited three months later. I am trying, a few friends seem to understand but some still call me lazy.

I am not only looking for a job, I am also looking for redemption. I am searching for myself because I feel lost, depressed and irrelevant.

I am hoping yours is my last stop in a long time of knocking and asking . I am tired of being denied.


 

I wrote this piece trying to capture what people without jobs go through. Does it resonate with you? Do you have an experience to share ? Leave something in the comment box.